Pink Cinema: Boobs, Blood, and More Boobs: Lady Ninja Kasumi 4 (2005)

So yeah, I didn't see the first three, but something tells me I ain't missing much. These are basically porn. Literally, by the end of the first minute, you're rewarded with da boobs.

But you also get shitty production value... yeah, I'm complaining about production value for a ninja porn. We should be glad they don't have paper swords, right? The thing is you won't be able to watch this. Sure, you can buy it for the boobs, but you may as well stick to free porn (I mean, uh, read a book on, you know, women's values and rights and stuff... uh... yeah). The "fight" scenes are pathetic. The opening hand-to-hand combat looks like two mentally-handicapped sloths duking it out. It's bad. Brain-melting bad, and the sound FX are god awful.

Is it fair to critique shit like this? When they charge you $16 for it on Amazon, the answer is yes. The editing and continuity in this is laughably ridiculous. This scarred asshole chokes the lead girl from behind with his body up against hers, and then in the next shot, she's lying on the floor twenty feet away. Did she teleport after she passed out at his feet? They couldn't even film the most basic scene without fucking up. Look at the pink bed on the floor in the picture above. Now, look at that same bed in this screenshot:

That's the same scene. And you'll notice the ninja babe is standing in a different position too, but she didn't move at all in the shot of her between these wide shots. It's like they weren't even trying. This is pure amateur hour. Some of the worst shit I've seen. And when she kills the guy, the sword is just pressed against his side, and of course, they shoot it from the front to make this obvious. No blood. Only another shitty sound effect.

You can really tell a lot from a film's opening, and in this case, it's clear there's no reason to continue. The credits are quite funny though. They try to class it up a bit with some "pretty" shots of flowers.